# 21 Abandonment

I found this great post by peacefulyogi @ peacefulyogiblog. I don’t necessarily call this abandonment. She did mention “perceived”. They just didn’t meet “expectations” and it ends up in disappointment. It’s just that I’m very picky with friends and I give my 101%. I bend over backwards for my friends and I feel that it’s just fair to expect them to reciprocate the commitment to the friendship.

It is not about you, it’s about them. You know your value and if they feel that it’s time to move on. It’s their loss. Sometimes, friendships go through it’s natural course… some lasts and some end. That means they have fulfilled their purpose in your life and/or vice versa.



I have been having a nagging feeling about on of my best friends. She has been different since I came back from my trip. It was gradual but I feel that we are growing apart. I feel that I am getting tired of being the one to go out of my way to call her or find time for us to see each other. Both of us are busy but just like in any kind of relationship “it takes two to tango“.. Maybe it’s time to let go. I’m just not ready. That will be a sad day.

What’s your story?




Peaceful Yogi

To me, abandonment feels like slowly ripping myself open to show my soft scared insides to a person in such a vulnerable state and having them look at it, shrug, and walk away. It feels like offering a precious piece of  your soul and then having the person drop it on the floor and walk away, trodding over it a little on the way. It feels so shitty. It makes me feel unworthy, unloved, unwanted, alone.

But I know it’s not true. I have a small group of people that truly do care about me and I care about them. They are there when I need them and that’s all I need.

So why does it bother me so much when someone decides to come into my life, gain my trust, open up my shell, pull out the soft insides, and then drop it all in the mud and leave?…

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9 thoughts on “# 21 Abandonment

  1. My story is on my most recent blog post. In summary, it was the beginning of learning about my own value + much more. It was a painful life experience to lose my life long friend of over 43 yrs. (along with associated friendships thru her, for as many years). But, such is life.
    It was time, but doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, or was interested in letting it go, or didn’t have enormous pain going thru it. However, much better off without it. The pain still lingers, but lessens as time passes. And I value myself more today then all the years I held onto that friendship. It was for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, certainly is. I was always proud of that. I still have some inner healing to do, yet I am nearing a place of acceptance with it as it is. Let me know what you think of post, Dear Friend. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. What an excellent post! You write really well.

        I just saw my friend last weekend. I was debating if I should let her know how I’m feeling. Between the 2 of us I’m the emotional one. She might think it’s nothing. I’m thinking, should I let it run its course or should I seek closure?

        How did you end it? Did you just drift apart or was it a “formal” thing? Did you fight?

        I like your idea. I’m sure it will help in your healing process.

        Love & light.

        ❤ BP

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Awwww….thank you Belle Papillion! So kind of you! I have made so many drafts of that dear friend letter, it’s not funny. 🙂
        Unfortunately, we had an argument/fight. But it was building tension that had been going on for years. I had made many attempts to resolve parts of the friendship I was terribly unhappy with. Making changes within myself, using love and acceptance as key solutions. But it did not resolve my inner and continued unhappiness with the friendship. I asked and pleaded for my yearning needs. My pleads went unheard and ignored. And then, it was that moment in time where I could no longer tolerate the unbalanced friendship and I lost my temper. Words flew out from me, then from both of us, but then it came to a mellowing in the conversation, and tears brought out true feelings. We hugged, talked and I assumed all was well. I was wrong. I never heard from her for months. Our friendship has dissolved and I can feel the ongoing tension, resentment and vengengence she feels for me. I too have unresolved negative feelings, hence my continued need to come to a place of balance by writing a ‘Dear Friend’ series.
        I think it is important for me to know my part in it all and to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, as well as to come to an acceptance for the path she has chosen.
        For what it boils down to, as I believe, it does for all relationships, is that one no longer cares to take responsibility for their part in a relationship. It takes two to work on it, and she no longer cares to make that effort.
        And so it is. It was something that was a long time coming. As I say in my post, the people that mattered the most to me, I meant the least to them. That is my fault.
        Hope that helps. Loooonnng answer. 🙂
        Love & Light to you too BP!
        Thanks for taking the time to read it and for your comments. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Diana, thanks for sharing.
        I appreciate you taking the time to open up and let us in. This is a very sensitive topic. I can sense the vulnerability and the pain. I hope you find peace. Both of you have completed your purpose in each other’s lives and it’s time to move on.
        It’s scary… but it’s our natural tendency to resist change. I guess I’m speaking more for me now… lol
        ❤ BP

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hopefully, by my sharing, it will provide help to others. The pain comes in waves and in less and less frequency. But thru the pain comes great awareness and spiritual lessons. And new doors open. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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